A Handful - Plus One

Dear Benjamin,

Today you are six. SIX! That's a whole lot of fingers, as you have so graciously pointed out to me. It's a few more than I'm ready for you to be, but since I haven't figured out a way to stop time, I'm just going to have to roll with it.

This past year has been one heck of a wild ride with you! You have discovered So! Many! New! Things! and have kept us on our toes trying to keep up with you. You can read now, and can add numbers on the fly. Your vocabulary has expanded, if that's at all possible. You have become less selfish and more aware of others and their needs/wants. You can be reasoned with (sometimes) and you say "Please" and "Thank You" without me prompting you (most of the time). You got the Golden Apple award again this year, for Extraordinary Conduct  at School, and we're still in awe that YOU are the one with the good conduct. We were sure that Pre-K was just "taking it easy on you" and that your Kindergarten teachers would be less tolerant of your outbursts. BUT! They promise us that you were a joy to teach, and that you were a good listener and participant. We see this at home, too - but you are our talker, our do-er, our non-stop-energy-entertain-me-all-the-time kid. You throw temper tantrums and cry at the drop of a hat. You annoy Anthony on purpose now, not just by simply "being". And you do it so masterfully that it's hard to discipline you for it.

And at the same time, you are our lover, our sweetheart, our sensitive child. You want cuddles and hugs a million times a day. You want to be rightthereontopofme when we are sitting on the sofa together. At a restaurant, you want to be IN my lap before and after our meal is served. You can't stand to see anyone be sad; you will rush to draw them a picture, or give them a hug, or comfort them in some way.

Your passions this year: Anthony, trains (duh), trucks (duh), Sebastian the Cat, karate, swimming in the pool and showing off what an amazing swimmer you've become, Legos (duh), Play-Doh, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Santa Claus...and so much more.

As annoyed as Anthony gets with you sometimes, he loves you so much. You idolize him, and I think he's not a bad person to emulate. But he is very lucky to have you for a brother, too. You help him to play make-believe, you bring out his imagination, you look up to him so that he WANTS to be a better person because of you.

And every day that I get to be your Mama is the best day on Earth.

I love you more than life itself, doodlebug.

Love,
Mama

Ten Years with Dad's Liver

There's not much I can say that hasn't already been said. Thank God that Anthony has done so well with the left lobe of Mark's liver (said it...at least a million times!). Thank God that Mark has not experienced any complications himself (said it!). Thank God for the wonderful doctors, nurses, aides, techs who have taken care of Anthony over the years (said it!). Thank God for our family who supported us and who keep on supporting us (said it!). Thank God for our friends who have stood  by us and walked this crazy transplant journey with us (said it!). So now I'll just let the pictures speak for themselves.

2004

2005 

2006

2007

2008

2009

2010

2011

2012

2013

2014

Daniel, Chapter 3: 89-90
"Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his love is everlasting.
Bless the Lord, the God of gods, all who fear him, give praise and thanks to him, for his love is everlasting!

Double Digits

Dear Anthony,

Today you turn TEN! This past year has been pretty exciting. Watching you change into the young man you're surely becoming has been fascinating for me.

You are obsessed with anything to do with science, and want to be a Chemist when you grow up. You bring home books from the library on the different elements, have parts of the periodic table memorized, and are constantly looking for experiments you can do. You email your Parrain (who is a Chemist) to ask him questions. We are also constantly Googling things to find the answer. Last night's Google search: what makes up steel?

This year, in fourth grade, you've joined the school band. You're playing the clarinet, and the progress you've made in four short months has been huge! You've played in one pep rally, and have a Christmas concert coming up. I love sharing music with you, and am so proud of the progress you've made.

Swimming is still a big part of your life, too. You push yourself to be the best you can be, and ask your coaches what you can do on your "off" days to improve your stamina and strength. I love seeing your dedication to this. I was never so dedicated to anything at your age!


This has been a big year for you in Cub Scouts, too. You've moved into the last group of Cub Scouts, and will spend one more year in the Webelos before you move on to Boy Scouts. You love when we go camping, and when you get to just be OUTSIDE.

You got to go on your first hunting trip this year, too. And while you didn't get the deer, I know you had a blast. You came home dirty, stinky, and full of all kinds of fun things to tell me. You even bought yourself a BB gun after the trip so you can practice your shooting for NEXT TIME!

You are a great role model for Benjamin. You come home, start your homework, and then go off to play. Most of the time, you let him tag along! You let him choose the shows you'll watch on TV, even when it's something like "Doc McStuffins"...something I know you think is "baby". You make sure he gets off the bus every day, and run to him to hug him in the mornings when he wakes up. Of course y'all fight - you're brothers! But mostly you just accept Benjamin and want him with you.

I thank God every day that he chose me to be your mom. I'm so lucky!

I hope TEN is everything you've dreamed it would be.

Love,
Mama

Family Photos

Ninth Transplant Anniversary

Dear Anthony,

Tomorrow is your ninth transplant anniversary.  Somehow this time seems to sneak up on me until BOOM! here it is!  You'd think that there being only 110 days between your birthday and anniversary, this wouldn't take me by surprise.

Yep, you were 110 days old.  That's three months and 8 days.  Approximately 2600 hours.  Tomorrow, it will have been 3,287 days since your transplant.  That's 108 months.  Approximately 78,800 hours.  Nine years with a renewed chance at life.

And, Anthony, do you ever LIVE life.  School, swimming, Cub Scouts, hanging out with your family and friends...you don't let a moment pass you by.

I never thought, in my biggest dreams for you, that you could go from a baby who couldn't even lift his arms to a kid who swims four days a week, an hour-and-a-half each time.

To see you go from this:

To this:

That is a dream come true to me.

This afternoon we leave to go camping for the weekend with the Cub Scouts.  We'll spend the whole weekend outdoors, enjoying life.  And that reminds of what the team of doctors and nurses told me and Daddy when they did your transplant, "We transplant these kids so they can have a chance at living a NORMAL life.  So let him be NORMAL."  And I think we've done a good job of it.  Living life is what you do best, and I can't wait to see you keep doing it.

I love you so much.  We are so lucky to have you in our lives; and we are so lucky that the amazing team at Nebraska Medical Center were able to do what they did: take a piece of Daddy's liver and give it to you.

I can't think of a better way to celebrate NINE years of health with you than outside on a gorgeous weekend.

Love,

Mama

Nein...Anthony is NINE? NEIN.

Dear Anthony, Today you are NINE. This seems to be a big deal to you: it's the last year you'll be single digits. It's a big deal to me, too. But every birthday we celebrate with you is a big deal to me.

This past year has been pretty awesome for you! You've continued to swim on a local swim team and have loved it. You got to go to San Diego, CA for a couple of weeks to Legoland, Disney Land, Sea World, the San Diego zoo, and a lot of other fun places, too. You started Third Grade and are loving your Science class more than anything else; you were so excited that Science became a full-time subject in Third Grade. You say you want to be a Chemist like Parrain when you grow up, and try to absorb anything "science-y" that you can.

You still love Legos. This year it's become Lego Ninjago that holds your fascination. You talk of Lord Garmadon, Lloyd, Kai, Jay, and all of the other Ninjas as if they're real. You sit down with Daddy and Benjamin on Wednesday nights to watch the Ninjago TV show and dissect every little nuance of the show afterwards. You still play with all of the other Legos you've got; Star Wars, City, trains (with Benjamin when he begs you to). There are very few other toys that you want to play with if the other choice is LEGOS.

You made your First Communion in April, and were SO excited to finally be able to take communion with us at Mass. You asked all kinds of important questions about making your First Communion, but the one you were most concerned about was whether you had to drink the wine or not. You were hesitant to do it, but took a tiny sip of it during the Ceremony and decided you wouldn't like to do THAT again!

Shortly after First Communion, you asked to have your hair cut "really, really short". So I broke out Daddy's electric hair trimmer and buzzed you. At first, it took a little getting used to. But after a few days we all agreed that it looks REALLY good on you. You're letting your hair grow out "for the winter, Mama" and it looks strange to me - seeing you with longer hair might take some getting used to. And then, I'm sure you'll want it buzzed again!

You got braces this summer, too. You were so excited about getting them and rarely complain of pain associated with them. I'm so glad, because I remember that mine were painful; especially after a visit to the orthodontist. You've done a really good job of keeping them clean and in good condition. And we've already noticed a huge improvement in your teeth placement and speech.

You make us laugh every day. You are so smart, sweet, and loving. You hate when Benjamin cries, and always want to be first into his room in the morning for hugs. You love to help cook in the kitchen, camping out with Daddy, playing with your friends, building elaborate Lego creations with Benjamin, and reading with me. You don't like being told "no" without an explanation to go with it, missing school, or sleeping late.

Watching you grow and change is one of the best parts of my life. Each day it seems like you're less a boy and more the man I know you will one day be. Keep making me laugh, Anthony...you're what makes my days bright. Love, Mama

GoodNIGHT, Benjamin!

Bedtime with the boys has always been...elaborate, and sometimes filled with drama. Our typical night time routine includes one last sip of water, brushing of the teeth, going to the potty, reading a book, singing, snuggling with both parents, and one last big kiss. Also, we talk about their day, the stuffed animals talk to them and any burning questions they feel safe asking in the dark are asked.

Bedtime with Benjamin is filled with more drama than Anthony's ever were. He bargains for more books, more songs, more water, less help with teeth brushing, he needs cream put on his legs (you forgot the CREAM? SOB).

And elaborate? Oh, yes. He wants me to sing the first song, Leo to sing the second song, Baby Nemo (or Raffie, or Puppy, or Little Tiger, or Thomas, or Blankie) to sing the next one, and Penguin to sing the last one. He wants to try to tickle them while they sing, or pet them, or hug them, or kiss them - so that they will laugh or purr or snuggle and forget they're singing. And I realize that this is all our (OK, Mark, OK - MY) doing. I love to make his animals talk to him, and I love to hear him laugh. I can't help it.

But Tuesday night took the cake.

We started the bedtime routine around 7:30, which is a little earlier than usual. But since the boys had been off for a week due to Hurricane Isaac, we figured earlier bedtimes might be a good thing.

By 8:15, I was in Anthony's room reading to him, having finished up with Benjamin. Mark was laying with Benjamin and Anthony and I could hear them talking and laughing. By 8:30, Benjamin's door was closed and Anthony and I were finishing up the chapter in the book we're reading.

CREEEEE-AK! Benjamin's door opens. "I haveta go potty," he says. This is typical Benjamin. Even though he just went to the bathroom, he's going to claim a burning desire to potty again. He barely makes a tinkle, flushes, washes his hands (slooooooooooowly...) and walks back to bed. This, of course, requires me to tuck him back in, give him a ton of kisses, and tell him that I love him all the way to the moon and back. And I head back to Anthony's room.

CREEEEE-AK! Benjamin's door opens. "I have the hicc-dups," he says. He's making the most ridiculous fake hiccups I've ever heard. Mark shoos him back to bed, where he switches tactics and begins fake coughing. Clearly Mark does not fall for this trickery and Benjamin goes to bed thwarted.

CREEEEE-AK! Benjamin's door opens. I have JUST finished with Anthony. It's almost 9:00. Benjamin is SOBBING. Big, sad sobby tears. It takes about 5 minutes to get him to calm down enough for us to understand him. By this time, Anthony is awake and comes to see what the commotion is. "I MISS AUGUST! I DON'T WANT SEP-PEMBER! AUGUST IS MY FABORITE MONTH!" Mark and I are torn between laughter and murder. Laughter wins out (this time). Of course, he's crying so hard that he now legitimately has the hiccups.

We calm him down, get him a tiiiiiiiiiiiiiny sip of water, and hustle him back to bed. I talk to him a little about how awesome September is (cooler weather! it's almost October! leaves start to change color!). Anthony gets led back to his bedroom, and all is quiet. Mark looks at me and blames me for Benjamin's drama. Let's be honest: he's right. Benjamin totally got his drama from his Mama.

CREEEEE-AK! Benjamin's door opens. "I haveta go potty!"

It was 9:30 before my children were nestled, all snug in their beds; with visions of a ballistic mother dancing in their heads.

First Communion

Anthony made his First Communion yesterday!

Eight Years Post-Transplant!

Dear Anthony,

Eight years ago today, I sat with Daddy in pre-op, waiting for them to start his IVs and give him some medicine to make him relax. He was nervous and quiet, until they gave him the medicine. Then he was silly and pretty funny. You were upstairs in your ICU room with Nana, Grandpa, and Maw Maw. Paw Paw had already left Baton Rouge to make the 14-hour drive straight to Omaha.

Once Daddy was in surgery, I came up to your room. Everyone was just sitting and waiting. No one was talking, no one was smiling. Everyone was so scared, lost in their own thoughts.

When they came to tell us it was time, the nurses let me carry you to the same waiting area I had sat in with Daddy just five hours before. A doctor came in, and wrote his initials and a smiley face on your stomach to show where the first incision would be made. I remember that it was cold in that waiting area, and you were just in a diaper with a blanket wrapped around you.

Sitting and waiting for news was torture. Maw Maw and I played cards, tried to read magazines, and talked to Paw Paw on the phone. I have to be honest and say that I don’t remember much of what Nana and Grandpa did. Every time the phone rang in the waiting room, my heart would stop. If it was for us, all they would say was, “We’re moving right along. Mark is doing well. We’re starting on Anthony.” or, “Anthony is doing fine.” We didn’t get much news. It was frustrating.

Once the doctors came out to tell us how everything went, I didn’t care to hear what they had to say beyond, “Mark and Anthony are fine.” I just wanted to see you and Daddy. I got to peek in on you before they let me see Daddy. You looked so tiny in the big hospital bed, hooked up to all of these machines: one to breathe for you, one to go to the bathroom for you, one to give you medicine, one to empty your stomach, one to monitor your heart and pulse…and so many, many more. And there, in the middle of it all was my tiny three-month-old baby. I was a little scared, but mostly a lot happy. You had made it through surgery.

When I got to see Daddy, his first question was, “How is Anthony?” He was mostly still asleep, and hardly able to talk. He kept drifting in and out, falling asleep while talking. But he was awake enough to ask how you were and to smile when I said you were fine.

The next morning, the day after your transplant, we arrived to find a few doctors in your room. They were all puzzling over something, and muttering to each other. It turns out you were tired of having a machine do your breathing for you. So they took out the breathing tube and let you breathe on your own. You managed it like a champion. They still wouldn’t let me hold you, but I was able to sit next to your bed and hold your hand, stroke your head, and talk to you. You didn’t wake up much that first day, except to cry when you started to hurt. The nurses were always there, ready to help take your pain away with medicine, and so you were able to sleep a lot.

Two days after your transplant I got to hold you for the first time as a HEALTHY BABY. I rocked you and cried, and laughed and cried. Then Paw Paw had his turn. I remember that it was just me and Paw Paw there with you, and he was holding you and looking at you and all I could think was that this was perfect. This was all OK. Later that day Daddy was allowed to come see you, and he was able to hold you with some help. He still hurt a lot, too, and so we stacked pillows in his lap and placed you on the pillows. I think even some of the nurses cried.

And so now it’s eight years later. You will get on the bus today and hardly give a thought to all you went through as a baby. It doesn’t ever occur to you that you have been through more in your short life than most adults will ever have to endure. Your transplant doesn’t define who you are; it is just another piece in the amazing person you are. I will serve lunch at your school later today and watch you with your friends, laughing and joking like any other normal kid would do. And that word “normal” is the key word. That is what the transplant team told me: “We transplant these kids so they’ll have a normal life. Be sure to let Anthony be normal.” I think we’ve achieved that goal.

Love,

Mama

Things to Remember

Benjamin, who talks in a stream-of-consciousness sort of way, in the car dropping the words "dumpster" or "fire truck" into his sentences without pause whenever he sees one.

Anthony at swim practice, so graceful and smooth. On land, his movements are almost awkward and jerky. It's so fun to watch him move through the water, then jump out of the pool to dive in again.

Benjamin, pretending he's a wizard, brandishing his wand and shouting, "Expel-a-marmus!" and then telling us he's Harry Potter.

Anthony is learning to write in cursive. His handwriting is MUCH better in cursive than in print.

Benjamin, riding on his Tow Mater riding toy, with his Thomas the Train ride on toy hooked to the two on the back of Mater. Poor Thomas is always being towed to the shop to be fixed.

Anthony, excited about his (EIGHT YEAR!) transplant anniversary on Friday, wanting to see pictures of himself during that time, and wanting to hear the stories that go with the pictures.

Touring DC

So it's taken me a little too long to update the rest of the photos, so I'm just going to put a few up here (OK - 16). I want to update with some pictures of our trip to Alabama to ride on the Polar Express, too, so I'm going to do that right after this. Lots of pictures to catch up on!

Remember this photo?


Here he is, two years later!


Riding the Metro (aka: THE TRAIN, MAMA, WE RIDING THE TRAIN)


Anthony had the Metro map memorized by the time we had ridden it twice.


We got to go to the zoo, too! We saw lions (most important), elephants, tigers, orangutans, and found this adorable hat for my littlest lion!


After the zoo, we took the boys on a tour of the Capitol Building. Anthony recently finished a Social Studies unit on the US Government, so this was exciting (and boring) for him!


He did enjoy telling our tour guide that he knew all about the Capitol, though!


We went to the National Archives after the Capitol to let Anthony see the Constitution. We got a little bored waiting in line, so Anthony and I horsed around.




The next day, we went to the Natural History Museum to see the dinosaurs again. Here's another throw-back photo:


And two years later:


After seeing the dinosaurs, we got some popcorn and had some little friends who asked us to share.


That evening, we celebrated Mark's aunt and uncle's 50th Wedding Anniversary. It was such an honor to be there to congratulate them. They are truly a beautiful couple, and an inspiration for Mark and me on what true love is.


My mother-in-law (standing, on the right) with her sister, Carmen (standing on the left) and their sister-in-law, Ina (seated).


Mark, his brothers, and some of their cousins:


Pat and Ina, Charles and Carmen, Mike and Margaret: