Too Many

Dillon and Jackson , two more precious angels in heaven. Sweet, beautiful boys whose lives were so short, but so meaningful.

Please, consider becoming an organ donor if you are not already. In my sidebar, there is a link to a website where you can sign up. But! It goes further than that. Tell your family, your loved ones, that you want to be a donor. For the most part, it would be left up to them if something tragic were to happen to you.

I remember asking my dad, one time before Anthony's transplant, how to pray that Anthony would get the life saving gift he so desperately needed. How should I pray that a mother would lose her child so mine could live? It seemed (rightly so!) so selfish of me to want my child to live while knowing that another child would have to die to save mine. What made MY child so special? His answer to me (this man is so wise) was that I not pray for another child to die, but that I pray that a family faced with that tough decision would make the choice to save another child's life. Well, it never came down to that for us, because Mark was able to be Anthony's donor, but this is a common question asked by parents at my online support group. This was the very same question asked by Jackson's mother just a week ago.

Anthony was Status 1A for a few days before his transplant. The criteria for Status 1A is usually such that the child is so sick that they take preference over every other child in a region. It usually means that quality of life can only be sustained for about a week or two. Status 1A was scary. You would walk into Anthony's PICU room and smell ammonia and think, "Good the cleaning crew has come through." Then you would realize that, no, that wasn't the cleaning crew. That was Anthony. When he cried, his tears were yellow. He mostly just laid in his bed, breathing hard, and sleeping.

Jackson was Status 1A for over 40 days.

Jackson's mom has been aching to hold her son. To let him know that she's there, fighting for him, and with him. She wrote that she told him it was OK to stop fighting if that's what he wanted to do. He's battled so much in his short life, and his body couldn't hold out any longer. Rest peacefully, sweet Jackson. So many people love you.