This Child

OK. Here goes a little ranting.

I am asked, only a million times a day, if I'm hoping Baby #2 will be a girl. WHY, if I already have a boy, is it a must for me to want a girl?

And why, when I answer, "Really? All I want is healthy.", do I get a smug sort of smile and a reply to the effect of, "Of course. But do you want it to be a girl?"

Let me tell you something. Healthy to me doesn't mean the same to all the "naive" moms out there. And by "naive", I mean any mom whose child was born without medical complications, and whose child did not later develop medical complications. Healthy to me means more than just 10 fingers, 10 toes, 2 eyes and a nose. It means not having to watch my baby suffer pain that most adults couldn't imagine. It means not having to ask a family member to undergo invasive surgery to save my child's life. It means not fearing that my baby, who is not even three months old, will die. It means not watching that baby die a little each day, all the while hoping that my baby might be spared.

There are no guarantees, there is no "ticket out"...I understand that. But when I say "healthy", please don't be condescending. It means more to me than it might mean to you.

I don't care if I have a girl or a boy. God is blessing me with another miracle. And you know what? With Mark by my side, and our families and friends backing us, I know we can handle pretty much anything. But couldn't we, please, get to "handle" healthy?